Tuesday, January 17, 2012

The Ωmega Man Can


Ωmega Man
(Sung to the tune of "Candy Man")

(Ωmega Man.)
(Hey, Ωmega Man.)

Spoken:
All right everybody gather 'round.
The Ωmega Man is here.
What kind of plague do you want?
Spanish flu?
Biol'gical warfare?
Cholera?
Anything you want.
You've come to the right man.
'Cause I'm the Ωmega Man.

(Woooo.)

Who can take a sidearm? (Who can take a sidearm?)
Discharge it at you (Discharge it at you),
Shower you with gunfire and a one-liner or two?
The Ωmega Man (The Ωmega Man).
Oh, the Ωmega Man can (The Ωmega Man can).
The Ωmega Man can 'cause he fixes you with guns,
And makes the world waste good.
(Makes the world waste good.)

Who can take explosives? (Who can take explosives?)
Toss them with a sigh (Toss them with a sigh),
Joke it up for fun and make a groovy mutant die?
The Ωmega Man (The Ωmega Man).
The Ωmega Man can (The Ωmega Man can).
The Ωmega Man can 'cause he fixes you with guns,
And makes the world waste good.
(Makes the world waste good.)

The Ωmega Man makes
Everything he hates
Gratifyingly pernicious.
Now you talk about your mutant glitches.
You can even beat their bitches.

Oh, who can make a serum? (Who can make a serum?)
Make it from his blood (Make it from his blood),
Separate the sorrow and inject us all with love?
The Ωmega Man (The Ωmega Man).
Oh, the Ωmega Man can (The Ωmega Man can).
The Ωmega Man can 'cause he fixes you with guns,
And makes the world waste good.
(Makes the world waste good.)

The Ωmega Man makes
Everything he hates
Gratifyingly pernicious.
Now you talk about your mutant glitches.
You can even beat their bitches.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, who can make a serum? (Who can make a serum?)
Make it from his blood (Make it from his blood),
Separate the sorrow and inject us all with love?
The Ωmega Man (The Ωmega Man).
Oh, the Ωmega Man can (The Ωmega Man can).
The Ωmega Man can 'cause he fixes you with guns,
And makes the world waste good.
(Makes the world waste good.)

Yes, the Ωmega Man can 'cause he fixes you with guns,
And makes the world waste good.
(Makes the world waste good).
A-Ωmega Man, a-Ωmega Man, a-Ωmega Man.
(Makes the world waste good).

Fade
A-Ωmega Man, a-Ωmega Man, a-Ωmega Man.
(Makes the world waste good).
A-Ωmega Man, a-Ωmega Man, a-Ωmega Man.

Hey kids, it's the Ωmega Man!

16 comments:

the innominate one said...

Wouldn't David Caruso be a good Omega Man in a remake or sequel?

Also, why isn't the URKOBOLD protesting SOPA?

Pro Libertate said...

You're lucky we're not in the same city for that heretical casting suggestion.

The Urkobold is protesting. He's locked up with the Weibskobold and a few of her friends and refuses to come out until the SOPA is dead.

the innominate one said...

I think we are in the same city. Or am I in the same city as Highnumber? I'm in Tampa.

Pro Libertate said...

Shall we say pistols then? At Ft. DeSoto?

I think I knew that, but my mind is going.

Pham Nuwen said...

TIO is in taintsville? Your identity slips further and further from the innominate, my friend. What will we call you then? The nominate one? Thats just silly.

Pro Libertate said...

Taintsville is actually closer to Orlando than Tampa.

the innominate one said...

At that point, I'd be called the identified one, or tio for short. Let's hope that day never comes.

Pro Libertate said...

How Not to Be Seen.

the innominate one said...

Oh, and Fort DeSoto at dawn it is.

Pro Libertate said...

Well, now that TIO has been dispatched on the field of honor, our readership has been reduced by double-digits. Probably sweeps week time again, too.

SIV said...

Fuck. I need a pair of Ray Ban Aviators now.

the innominate one said...

HA!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2eMkth8FWno

Pro Libertate said...

Wait. Um, who was it that I dispatched on the field of honor?

VikingMoose said...

TIO: what ProGlib said about protesting.

Also, we have a ton of original material. As noted by the never read, "wayne sulu friday", the nearly-always-ignored, "Vampire Thursday", etc.

and Highnumber and I are both in Chicago, although he's probably closer to the Quad Cities than chicago... (ha!)

the innominate one said...

I miss Wayne Sulu Friday and Vampire Thursday.

Highnumber is a pseudonym for Fred Garvin, male prostitute (serving the quad cities area), isn't it?

http://www.hulu.com/watch/3514/saturday-night-live-fred-garvin-male-prostitute

Hi, Moose!

Pro Libertate said...

I miss Wayne-Sulu Friday, too! Without Wayne, Sulu is one-dimensional.