From BuzzFeed: 45 Reasons Why Florida Is The Craziest State

See the whole list at BuzzFeed, but here are a few choice samples:

 

 

 

 

I'm Spartacus!

THIS FILM HAS BEEN EDITED AND FORMATTED FOR THE URKOBOLD'S VIEWING PLEASURE.  PLEASE WATCH IT IN ITS ENTIRETY IN THE COMFORT OF THIS BLOG:

NOTE KUBRICK'S USE OF LIGHTING IN THIS FILM, ALONG WITH THE AUTEUR'S SUPERB USE OF WATER TO EMPHASIZE THE BOUNCINESS OF THE ACTRESS.  THE URKOBOLD ALWAYS TOLD STANLEY THAT HE MISSED OUT ON A VERY LUCRATIVE CAREER IN THE PORNOGRAPHIC ARTS.

Breaking News: Fucking Steamroller Fucking Steamrolled!

Later, loser.  Fired.  Again.  Not clear at this time whether his dismissal was related to his use of call girls.

Naturally, his next move will be to run for political office.  I understand there's an opening in the House for a New York representative.

Monkey Tuesday: Monkey Self-Portrait

A photographer leaves his camera set up on a tripod in Indonesia, and some crested black macaques decide to take some photos (images via The Guardian).  Here are some of the better shots:

Photo of the guy who owned the camera

The original caption said "One of the images taken by the macaque using David Slater's camera. This photo was rotated and cropped by the photographer", but I'm thinking the "photographer" was the crested black macaque, not the man who owns the camera

 

See the whole article.

Monkey Tuesday: Chimpanzee Brotherhood

Fourth of July Drink Recipe from the Archives

From the archives, repurposed for the Fourth of July:

Since all great conflicts have their own drinks, we at Urkobold believe that the impending invasion of Mexico (yes, it's a War for Agave) deserves its own cocktail as well. Therefore, we'd like to poll you, Urkobold's terrorized and victimized readership, for your suggestions. The winner will be noticed in passing by the Urkobold, then forgotten forever thereafter. The only rule is that the drink must include good tequila and, if possible, be red, white, and blue.

Here's the concept as currently envisaged:

Agave Libre (aka The Imbibertarian)

Ingredients:

• One part pomegranate juice
• One part fine, añejo tequila
• One part Blue Curaçao
• Dash of Cholula or other Mexican hot sauce (to symbolize our righteous anger)

The drink should be assembled in the order above to get that red, white, and blue effect. At least, that's the plan.

The Godfather of Soul Wishes America a Happy 235th Birthday!

Happy Canada Day from the Shat

Via BuzzFeed.

Summer Drinking Time: Champagne Sangria

Pictured: Some other champagne sangria

For some years now, I've had a secret recipe for champagne sangria from a now-defunct restaurant in Clearwater called Tio Pepe's.  Easily my favorite Spanish restaurant in the area, and I'm still sick with disappointment that the owners sold it (they cited old age and a desire to retire).

Probably about fifteen years ago, my dad was able to finagle the recipe for Tio Pepe's excellent champagne sangria out of one of the owners, under the condition that it didn't get published outside the family.  We've honored that vow of secrecy, but, since they are closed and since they actually went public with their similar red wine sangria recipe, the threat to national security is no more, and we can lift the Cones of Silence.  

I highly recommend this recipe for people who like sangria, and I can tell you from personal experience that it is very popular.  My wife asks me to make this just about any time we have a poolside event.  I'm typing it out from memory, so there may be some small variance from the original recipe, but it's more or less correct:

Tio Pepe's Champagne Sangria

• 1/2 bottle champagne/sparkling wine (we use an asti for the added sweetness, but it works fine with drier champagnes)
• 1 oz. brandy
• 1 oz. triple sec
• 1 tbsp. sugar
• 2-3 dashes of cinnamon
• Slices of lemon and orange

I like to start with pouring the shots of brandy and triple sec into a pitcher, then stirring in the sugar and cinnamon with a wooden spoon to make sure they dissolve fully into the liquid.  Then I add the fruit, along with ice and champagne (down here, it gets hot enough that I sometimes just put the ice in the glasses rather than the pitcher).  Use the wooden spoon to crush the fruit, stir everything together to blend, then serve.