Charlie Crist Update!

Yesterday, we noted that ex-leper Charlie Crist was now a personal injury attorney in Central Florida. But that's not the whole story. Charlie apparently has a side gig:

Night of the Little Dead

Now this. . .this is some awesome casting.  Check out the official site.

Clemens and Hobbes

Some Bill Watterson cartoons (pre-Calvin & Hobbes) illustrating Mark Twain quotes (via BuzzFeed):

 

 

 

A Preview for Some Movie about Some Cimmerian Fellow

I'm a big fan of the first Conan the Barbarian, but I also like the old Robert E. Howard stories.  I've heard that this film is supposed to be closer to those original tales, so this may have possibilities.  But Arnold's Conan will never be supplanted in its ultimate glory.

Classy Ex-Governor Thursday: Charlie "Hamiltonian Tan" Crist Would Like to Help You Get Some Dough

At last Crist has found his true self--an ambulance-chasing, yet well-tanned, nonentity.

Are You Experienced? Arrogant "Adults" Still Snarking Over Kiddie Candidates

The first Republican debate is looming, and it's making news for not having any "top-tier" candidates. Here is some grown-up barely able to contain his chuckling at the poor crop of candidates being fielded - they have the likes of Gary Johnson, pizza entrepreneur Herman Cain, "and, yes, Texas Congressman Ron Paul."

Given the funeral festivities that most of America is celebrating for Osama Bin Laden, it's probably a bad time to talk about peace. But we might as well, since the punditry loves to snark over the childish candidates who don't want to kill innocent civilians along with actual bad guys. Maturity is apparently a function of how many bodies you're willing to accept in the name of America's "interests."

Or perhaps those pragmatic adults are laughing at the kiddie table because those tykes don't want to lock up people who haven't injured others, but use substances such as marijuana. Is it the massive number of deaths caused by pot? With zero overdoses since 2500 BC, this is hard to believe. Perhaps it's the huge number of crimes associated with the drug? Given that the government had anti-pot ads showing pot making people sit on their couches and snack, it's interesting that they would also claim it motivates people to go out and steal, hurt others, etc. Or perhaps the old standby "gateway drug" argument will be brought out ex rectum. If there ever was any truth to that one, the fact that the main commonality is that the DRUGS ARE ILLEGAL manages to escape them. It will be a good day when those who use that argument stick it back up the ass they pulled it from, along with whatever else they see fit to add.

Perhaps it's the budget that those experienced, enlightened pundits are talking about. After all, if we went back to the budget we had in 2000, we would undoubtedly wind up like Somalia, our roads crumbling, our trains stopped in their tracks. Wild gangs would rule the wasteland, even outside of Detroit.

Whatever it is that they are pissing on about, I have to say that they're giving me a case of Peter Pan syndrome - if killing innocents, locking up peaceful people, and being totally irresponsible with money makes you an adult, I'm prepared to be a child for a while.

Nuclear Fission with Ping-Pong Balls and Mousetraps

From the Harvard Natural Sciences Lecture Demonstrations (via Neatorama):

What it shows:
In a nuclear reactor or atom bomb, a fissile material such as 235U can capture a neutron. The resulting unstable nucleus fragments into two smaller nuclei, releasing energy and several neutrons (a typical equation is given below). Each of these neutrons can in turn cause the fission of a 235U nucleus. If there is above a critical concentration of fissile material, this chain reaction will continue unaided, and if unregulated, can result in a very loud bang.

n + ²³⁵U → ²³⁶U* → ¹⁴¹Ba + ⁹²Kr + 3n

How it works:
We have a 120 × 70 × 100cm high plexiglass case, onto whose base we set a 5 × 20 array of mouse traps.¹   Onto each trap is rested a ping-pong ball. The traps represent the fissile atoms, and the balls the neutrons. When an extra ping-pong ball is dropped through a hole in the top of the case, it lands on an triggers a trap. Now there are two ping-pong balls each capable of setting off a trap. Thus a chain reaction ensues; the whole explosion lasts about three seconds.

* * *

¹ Mouse traps are 10cm × 5cm in size, manufactured by Woodstream Corp., Lititz, PA or d-Con Corp., Montvale, NJ. Both are available in hardware stores.

I intend to make use of this new reactor technology to power my home.

Monkey Tuesday: More Monkey Fashions

From the Korean Creative Content Agency via Neatorama:

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Her “gorilla” fashion presented at London Fashion Week held in mid-February, for instance, proved the recognition of her new styles. A writer for Dossier Journal, an acknowledged independently published and owned bi-annual arts and culture journal, reported: “But I must give Kathleen Kye an honorable mention for her gorilla-inspired menswear collection which featured a massive puffer vest in the shape of King Kong’s hand squeezing the poor model beneath.” And Nylon magazine mentioned: “Kathleen Kye made a giant inflatable hand that wrapped itself around one of her men’s sweaters.”

* * *

Monkey Tuesday: Monkeys and Fashion

Behold the newest in monkey-inspired styles--the Monkey Tail!

Monkey Tuesday: Monkey Mothers

In honor of Mother's Day, Urkobold presents Monkey Mothers and their Monkey Children:

 

 

 

Images via Izismile.

Megaforce

This movie came up over at Hit & Run while discussing the killing of bin Laden.  It's so quintessentially "Eighties" that I thought I'd post it here to remind everyone why time moves only one direction.  Entropy, at times, is our friend.

Evil Overlord List - Top Ten

A necessary to do list for anyone considering a Career of Evil. A must read for politicians and other villains. The Top 100 Things to do as an Evil Overlord. © by Peter Anspach.

Some samples:

1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.

2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.

3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.

4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.

5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.

6. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.

7. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No."

8. After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.

9. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such.

10. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.
    

You might want to have your henchmen read this as well - provided you can trust them.