Friday, September 9, 2011

Nostradamus Predictions Updated

Is it me, or does Nostradamus look uncannily like Mel Gibson?
Thanks to advances in translation software, a well-known but, as it turns out, poorly understood quatrain has been reinterpreted.  

Quatrain II.24 has long been thought to refer to Adolf Hitler's rise to power in Germany.  Here is the original quatrain:
Bêtes farouches de faim fleuves tranner;
Plus part du champ encore Hister sera,
En caige de fer le grand sera treisner,
Quand rien enfant de Germain observa.
Which has been commonly interpreted to mean--
Beasts wild with hunger will cross the rivers,
The greater part of the battle will be against Hitler.
He will cause great men to be dragged in a cage of iron,
When the son of Germany obeys no law.
Yep, Hitler!  Wrong!  Advanced new translation software has found that the quatrain has been grossly misinterpreted.  The good news, however, is that the quatrain provides people of 2011 with a clear warning that we can use today, not just another "warning" about something that has already happened.  Here's the new, correct interpretation:
Beasts wild with coffee-cravings will cross the rivers,
The greater part of the belittling will be against the hipsters.
They will cause great men to be dragged into a cage of irony,
When the sons of the germane obey no law.
Beware the beast Hipster, for he is the Devil's pawn.

4 comments:

VikingMoose said...

yeah- that glaring error (one of the oh, ENTIRE MOVIE) in Orson's movie about notre-dumbass.

and there are people who get really pissy when they hear that their poor uber back interpreted quatraines are wrong.

(back interpreted info... oh - austrian econ! see how it ties together!)

Pro Libertate said...

Poor Orson. Always looking for funds for the next project.

There's a quatrain about his feud with Hearst.

Kolohe said...

"Is it me, or does Nostradamus look uncannily like Mel Gibson?"

To me, it would never be Lupus in the future

Pro Libertate said...

Hugh Laurie? More than Mel Gibson?