As we cast about for solutions to our massive debt and our ever-increasing deficit spending problems, it has become clear that there are no solutions we're actually willing to try. Cut spending? Ha! Balanced budget amendment? Double ha! Less government in general? That's treason.
However, there is a radical solution that no one has proposed. . .until now. The federal government should borrow an infinite amount of money, then immediately default. We can default, because the consequences of default--the inability to borrow cheaply or at all--won't matter if we have an infinite supply of funds.
The beauty of this plan is elegant, yet sublime. Under the Infinite Cash Scenario, the United States would benefit in the following ways:
- We can buy and pay for anything! With an infinite amount of money, there's no good or service that the government couldn't pay for and provide. Even granting government's incredible inefficiency, there's more than enough to fund everything and anything.
- Infinity for everyone! Infinity divided by any finite number is infinity. Thus, we could provide each of the 312 million Americans with an infinite amount of money.
- No more class warfare! If each American has an infinity of dollars, then no American is richer than any other American, eliminating the tensions between economic strata and creating a perfectly egalitarian society, economically speaking.
- Buh-bye taxation! No need to tax anyone or anything when you have an infinite amount of money.
- No more welfare! The infinitely rich don't need government assistance.
- Later on, Federal Reserve! No need to fiddle with the money supply or with banking in general with an infinite amount of money. So long, Treasury, too, for that matter.
|Artist's conception of an infinitely rich, infinitely happy American|