Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Breaking News: Florida Fremen?

A man’s flesh is his own; the water belongs to the tribe.
So, um, Florida, a leader in wackiness and death, has at last found a way to combine those two things by adopting Fremen deathstill technology at least fifteen millennia before it actually gets developed.  Yep, here in old St. Petersburg, Florida, they're going to render Arkie down for his water (from the BBC via Boing Boing):
The unit by Resomation Ltd is billed as a green alternative to cremation and works by dissolving the body in heated alkaline water.

The facility has been installed at the Anderson-McQueen funeral home in St Petersburg, and will be used for the first time in the coming weeks. It is hoped other units will follow in the US, Canada and Europe.

* * *

Body tissue is dissolved and the liquid poured into the municipal water system. Mr Sullivan, a biochemist by training, says tests have proven the effluent is sterile and contains no DNA, and poses no environmental risk.

* * *

Pictured: Actual deathstill
Did I vote for this?  Shouldn't I be able to opt out of drinking water distilled from dead people?  Could I catch zombism this way?  Why do they have to start here, of all places?

***Update***

Say, by drinking water from the deathstill, does that make me a Fremen?

***Updates within updates within updates***

Soylent Water is people!!!!

***Updateathon***

Could there be a market for water distilled from the dead?  Like in places with ancestor worship?  "New, from PepsiCo, Ancestral Water.  Clean, pure, made from the best thing on Earth. . .people."

8 comments:

SugarFree said...

Hippies are gross.

I plan on being fed secretly to my enemies in the hopes that they choke.

Pro Libertate said...

I bet they're wrong about the DNA. In fact, I think this is an oldster plot to take over the minds of the young. Sure, drink water rendered from the dead. It's safe.

The legislature signed off on this? Really? On purpose?

the innominate one said...

Sorry to be the dissolved corpse in the punchbowl of your fevered imagination, but "poured into the municipal water system" probably means "poured down the drain with the faeces", not "poured into the water supply that you'll be drinking".

Pro Libertate said...

Oh, please. We're going to mingle our honored dead with excrement? That's a cultural impossibility.

SugarFree said...

Cadaver water... I bet it still tastes better than Diet Dr. Pepper.

Pro Libertate said...

Note how Pepsi has acclimated us to the trademark, Aquafina. Which means "fine water." A subtle change would be to make it Aquafinis, "end water."

If Coke wanted to compete, it could do with Deathsani or maybe Corpsani.

Pro Libertate said...

Do you think deathstill water is kosher?

Anonymous said...

1) Dissolve Dead people as green alternative to burning them.
2) Pour liquid dead into water supply.
3) Disgust the public, causing the increased use of bottled water.

You have got to love unintended consequences.