Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Planet of the Apes Porn



io9 reports that there was a soft-core porn made from the Planet of the Apes story. Well, sort of.
...This movie is obscene in every sense of the word — although don't worry, there's no actual bestiality.
Here are just some of the most horrendous moments from Playmate of the Apes, a film so incredibly horrendous that the drugs required to make it must have involved severe brain damage. I mean seriously, everybody who worked on this film probably keeps walking into walls and trying to eat dryer lint and stuff.
In Playmate of the Apes, three lesbian astronauts are flying through space, and two of them are having hot softcore lesbian sex while the third sleeps at the controls. Somehow, the two lesbians who are having sex manage to push the "crash the ship now" button, causing the ship to crash — and really, that's the best "spaceship turbulence" scene we've ever seen.
Once on the ship, the lesbian astronauts decide to bathe in the first body of water they find, and then someone steals their spacesuits, leaving them totally nude. Soon they're captured by the ape rulers of this world. Most of the apes believe that the humans are incapable of intelligence — but one ape, Dr. Cornholius (who looks disturbingly like Helena Bonham Carter) believes that humans can be as smart as apes. How can the humans prove their intelligence? By dancing around and doing a striptease. Really. ...
There is a NSFW video at the link above. This link is also courtesy of SugarFree, who gets my Monkey Tuesday check for the week.

6 comments:

Pro Libertate said...

Oh, right, forgot about this one.

Otto said...

As did I last week. I couldn't post either until I got home from work, though.

Pro Libertate said...

Damned dirty apes. . .and lesbians.

VikingMoose said...

*heads to Stevo's bunk. with a bunch of tallied bananas*

Pham Nuwen said...

Wow. That was some bad acting. Though the nudity was tastefully done.

Pro Libertate said...

BP,

Saw that the picture had vanished, so I inserted an SFW trailer for the film.