Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Secret Lawyers Revealed

As uncovered here many years ago, there is a secret, worldwide cabal of attorneys that are infiltrating other professions, attempting to undermine them and make them beholden to the cabal.  One of the most insidious and dangerous of these undercover lawyers was, of course, Mohandis K. Gandhi:

That's right, your god was a stinking attorney!

There are other, also disturbing examples.  For instance, the president himself is a known attorney.  What business does a president have being an attorney?  He's not a "lawmaker" like in Congress.  He's not an interpreter of law like a judge.  I'm sure this is totally unconstitutional, but, of course, the cabal erased the part about presidents not being allowed to be attorneys.  I mean, it's obvious something was deleted, right?  The sole qualification is to be a natural born citizen who is 35 or older?  To run the most powerful country in human history?  Come now, let us be reasonable.

Other examples include--
  • John Cleese--yeah, that's right, Python is part of this massive conspiracy
  • Robert Parker, wine critic
  • Tony La Russa, baseball manager
  • Raul Julia, actor
  • William Sanderson, actor
  • Otto Preminger, director
  • Nelson Mandela, peace activist (see a trend here?) and politician
  • Steve Young, former NFL quarterback
Today, our investigators have unveiled another attorney who has infiltrated the field of acting: Gerard Butler:

So, knowing the truth about Butler, one must ask oneself whether that is really Sparta at all!  I bet he wasn't even really in Greece.  Lying bastard.


VM said...

oh the horror!!!!!!

(awesome post!)

the innominate one said...

I can't remember his name, but a former player for the Buccaneers is a local lawyer now.

lawyers = buccaneers = pirates
it's a simple syllogism

get lawyers, guns and money
the shit has hit the fan

Pro Libertate said...

Brad Culpepper. I didn't include him, because he's not as famous.

Steve Young, of course, was also a Buccaneer.

If MLK and Jesus had been lawyers, I might really start wondering about the whole nonviolent resistance movement.

VM said...

what about Mr. Spock? I think he's also a legal type!

and Wayne. And Sulu!

Pro Libertate said...

They're probably all secret lawyers, but I canna find any proof! Damned my poor researchin' skills!

the innominate one said...

Culpepper. That's right. According to his commercials, the ability to play football makes him a better lawyer. Or something. Something like this:

1. Play professional football. (OK, playing for the Bucs is really semi-pro, but we'll give Brad a gentleman's pass here.)
2. ???
3. Awesome loiering skilz!!11!!1!

Pro Libertate said...

Semi-pro? Not when he played here.

Anonymous said...

My mom exfiltrated the Loier Temple on New Small Moon with an ultralight aircraft and the help of Evil (But Really You Find Out Later That They're Good) Fiziks Types. True story.

Pro Libertate said...

Good physicists? You're making that up.