Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Monkey Tuesday: Woman Nursing Monkey

NO, SADLY, IT IS NOT SALMA HAYEK, WHO NURSES ALL HUMAN COMERS. HOWEVER, IT IS A WOMAN, AND IT IS A MONKEY. PREPARE TO BE PERMANENTLY DISTURBED.

DISCLAIMER

View at your own risk. Parental discretion advised. Urkobold Enterprises, LLC is not responsible for what you do after you view this photo. Void in Utah and Connecticut. Consult your tax adviser. Not safe for work unless you work for National Geographic.

WARNING: Seizures:
  • Some people (about 1 in 1,000) may have seizures or blackouts triggered by disturbing images or patterns, such as while viewing pictures of women nursing monkeys, even if they have never had a seizure before.
  • Anyone who has had a seizure, loss of awareness, or other symptom linked to an epileptic condition should consult a doctor before viewing a human-nursing-a-monkey photograph.
  • Parents should watch when their children view images of women nursing monkeys. Stop viewing and consult a doctor if you or your child have any of the following symptoms:
Convulsions
Eye or muscle twitching
Loss of awareness
Altered vision
Involuntary movements
Disorientation
  • To reduce the likelihood of a seizure when viewing women nursing monkeys:
  1. Sit or stand as far from the image as possible.
  2. View images on the smallest available screen or format.
  3. Do not view if you are tired or need sleep.
  4. Squint your eyes so you can just. . .barely. . .see.
  5. Take a 10 to 15 minute break every hour.
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, AVERT YOUR EYES WHILE THERE'S STILL TIME!

Trite and likely mistaken explanation available at Amazon-Tribes.com

21 comments:

Pro Libertate said...

I. . .I was looking at the site. . .I refreshed. . .I didn't see the disclaimer. . .WHAT HAS BEEN SEEN CANNOT BE UNSEEN!

The National Geographic Society said...

Dear Editor:

The National Geographic Society would like to object to the implication in your recent article on the nursing of monkeys by humans that the NGS sanctions or supports the publishing of such images. Naked natives, sure, we cater to that fetish, but naked natives nursing lower-order primates? Be ashamed, Urkobold, be ashamed.

Sincerely,

John M. Fahey, Jr.

Naga Sadow said...

I see NOTHING! I know NOTHING! NOTHING!

Pro Libertate said...

This is a new low for us. And I bet it totally endangers our NC-17 rating.

On the other hand, National Geographic does stuff like this. . .maybe we could claim it's educational?

Sgt. Shultz said...

Ich muss protestieren! Dieser Satz ist als Marke!

General Zod said...

Dear Zod. No, don't bother kneeling before Zod. I was just leaving.

Drunken Joe Namath said...

I wanna kiss you!

Taktix® said...

Damn, I just went from 6 o'clock to Midnight, if you know what I mean...

The National Geographic Society said...

Ah, a loyal NGS member.

Pro Libertate said...

Shit! I looked at it again! My eyes! The goggles do nothing!

VM said...

"I looked at the trap, Ray"

Pro Libertate said...

Okay, did we get all the viewing bad things cliches in? I'd sure hate to leave any out.

I wonder if there's a caption worthy of making this picture into a Demotivator?

VikingMoose said...

"THIS PAGE WAS LEFT BLANK INTENTIONALLY"

Pro Libertate said...

I'd like one of those memory-erasing gizmos from Men in Black.

Pro Libertate said...

Jesus! I've got to remember not to scroll down for the next week or so. I can't believe we broke the nude barrier with this image.

I'll never be Pope now!

Art-P.O.G. said...

Taktix: I do know what you mean. But me, I just feel...funny, you know?

Rape said...

i got a raging boner!!!

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