Thursday, January 8, 2009

Guide to Upcoming Season Premieres from Urkobold Productions, LP

After Urkobold Entertainment, Inc.'s much ballyhooed acquisition of Stockholm-Copenhagen Productions (now known as Urkobold Productions, LP) in 2007, fans have been eagerly awaiting news about new productions to come out of the studio. The wait is finally over. Deciding to go whole hog, Urkobold Productions is launching an exciting and diverse lineup of new shows across genres and the cable spectrum. We can't reveal all of the details just yet, but here's the slate of shows that will premiere in the 2009 season:

From the minds of Ronald Moore (Battlestar Galactica) and Josh Whedon (Buffy the Vampire Slayer; Firefly) comes this exciting new spin-off/mashup of two great science fiction series. In Battlestar Serenity, the female leads of both series join forces--and 'verses--to explore space. . .and each other's bodies.
Friday, Sept. 4, at 10:00 PM

Join Juan Consciousnelius, solipsist, on his new talk show on MSNBC. Juan brings his unique perspective as someone who knows that he is the only being that exists, nay, can exist, to his interviews with celebrities, politicians, and other notables and explains to each that they are only figments of his imagination. Unlike most talk shows, there's no studio audience--what's the point?
Wednesday, Sept. 9, at 10:30 PM

Watch Osama bin Laden, finally captured by the United States and shipped secretly to the prison at Guantanamo Bay, in what The Washington Post calls "the Mother of All Sitcoms." Osama's Heroes follows Osama and his merry band of fanatical, but fun-loving followers as they play pranks on unsuspecting prison guards and escape at will to visit Havana and Düsseldorf.
Monday, Sept. 21, at 9:00 PM

What was life like for the young half-human, half-Vulcan Spock? Find out by tuning in to Mr. Spock of Tennessee. Set in the Tennessee of the 23rd century, this show explores the trials and tribulations of young Spock as he spends his summer vacations with his mother's family on Earth. One Star Trek character who will make occasional appearances on the show is a young Leonard McCoy, who revives an old feud between his family and Spock's grandmother's family. . .the Hatfields.
Saturday, Sept. 26, at 9:00 PM

KOKO COOKS! (Food Network)
Watch Koko the Signing Gorilla as she puts on an apron and cooks up food with a uniquely simian flavor. Preferring to work strictly with shoots, leaves, roots, ants, snails, caterpillars, and grubs, Koko plans to introduce America to the best of gorilla cuisine--sure to be the next craze!
Thursday, Oct. 1, at 8:00 PM

On the heels of his success as Whore Critic for The New York Times, former New York governor Eliot Spitzer taps into the never-ending reality TV craze with a show uniquely his--a national search for America's top whores! Spitzer will be the only permanent judge but will share his chambers, so to speak, with a variety of celebrity guest judges each week, including David Patterson, Janice Dickinson, George Takei, Charlie Sheen, Miley Cyrus, Danny Bonaduce, Denise Richards, Koko the Signing Gorilla, and many others. Stay tuned for a late-season surprise appearance by none other than Miss Ashley Dupre!
Monday, Aug. 24, at 11:00 PM

Join Kevin Kline as he reprises his Oscar®-winning role as Otto, the gun-wielding, Nietzsche-quoting hoodlum from A Fish Called Wanda. Set in the United States after the events of the film, Otto is forced to work as a freelancer after the CIA fires him for teaching torture techniques to U.S. troops in Iraq. In the pilot, Otto kills a philosophy professor at NYU and, to protect his cover, is forced to assume the professor's identity and bumble through teaching his class on Nietzsche. Hilarity ensues!
Tuesday, Oct. 13, at 10:00 PM


BakedPenguin said...

I'm excited about the "Battlestar Serenity" episode where they have a spanking contest.

Or did I just make that up?

Pro Libertate said...

I think you just wrote a treatment for episode twelve. Please send the Urkobold a complete script by next Friday. With diagrams and illustrations.

the innominate one said...

why does the post refer to "Osama's Heroes" but the poll refers to "Obama's Heroes"? Why is the ur-troll conflating our new president with public enemy #1? Could it be at the behest of Zod?

Pro Libertate said...

I don't know. The ways of the Urkobold are truly mysterious.

Pro Libertate said...

In the alternative, Obama is all things to all people.

the innominate one said...


friend of yours, Pro Lib?

Pro Libertate said...

That's a blog called Pro Libertate that some other guy runs. The rat. Naturally, I'm the real Pro Libertate.

It's a motto that pops up all over the place, but I got it from the Wallace side of my family. I'm actually closer to the side of my family from a different Scottish line, but I like a motto that means "for liberty" a lot more than one than means "for the king" (pro rege).

joe said...

Cuz I'm Pro Libby
The Real Pro Libby
All you other Pro Libbies
Are just imitating...

Pro Libertate said...

Exactly. It's frustrating having to share my identity with others.

somebody said...