Urkobold

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Actuary Joke of the Day

After taking a course in heredity, an actuary concludes if your parents didn’t have children, the probability is very high that you won’t either!
Posted by highnumber at 12:00 PM
Labels: Actuaries, future posts, of the day
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1 comment:

somebody said...

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April 29, 2010 at 8:28 AM

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(1) former legends (1) friday fun recipes (1) fried haggis fritters (1) fuck the olympics (1) fuck you that's why (1) fucking - songs about (1) fucking awesome (1) fucking wankers (1) fucktards on the internets (1) fun with Mr. Steven Craneyoutube.com (1) fun with math (1) fun with mr. steven crane (1) funky (1) funny face (1) fuq fuq fuq (1) future posts (1) garth brooks (1) genetic material (1) gentlemanly wagers (1) get a haircut (1) get back to the year 1955 (1) getting old (1) girlfren (1) go crazy (1) go cubs go (1) go way - batin (1) godfather of soul (1) good song to listen to when you're cranky (1) grape stomping is dagnerous (1) great oxonians (1) great scott (1) green yo-yo (1) ground chalk (1) guarantee this is an FCC-certified 99% content-free posting (ask me how) (1) guitar-shaped pool (1) ha ha - got you Evil Monkey (1) had enough yet? (1) haggis torte (1) hanz and franz will pump you up (1) happy otter (1) harold's wings (1) hat tip (1) hay warren- pour the drinks (1) he's not jewish (1) herding katz (1) here comes another one (1) herms (1) hidden twaddlnenockery (1) hidden urges (1) hier - let me google that for you (1) high (1) highnumber's cameo (1) hobo clowns (1) hockeh monkeh (1) homeboyz (1) homo sapiens neanderthalensis (1) hope that clears it up for you (1) hot sauce (1) household tips (1) how much force is enough? (1) hrumph (1) human capital (1) human flesh is high in HFCS (1) hungarians are more dignified and their food is better (1) i said MORE HAM (1) i spit on your grave (1) i'm not joking (1) iconic voices (1) if a french engineer marine pariate had designed it... (1) iggy (1) in Vain (1) innertesting follow-up (1) innuendo (1) inspired by BakedPenguin (1) institutionalized (1) instore (1) ironic (1) irrelevant douchebags (1) is that cable knit? (1) it ends about a week and a half into spring (1) it hurt (1) it leaves me in charge (1) it puts the lotion on its skin (1) it was THIS BIG (1) it was the coupling (1) it's fun to brush your teeth (1) jarjar binks sings da blooz (1) jewish electroclash hotties (1) jewmex (1) jingle jingle (1) juche (1) just monday (1) k-strass (1) koans4u (1) korn syrup (1) large-breasted monkey woman (1) laser beams (1) lawn tools (1) libations (1) libural arts (1) llollo (1) lobster girl (1) local music (1) lolo (1) loser=me (1) low (1) lunar mudule (1) ma bell (1) madness (1) make it easy (1) make it fun (1) malware (1) man-apes (1) many missing links (1) marvin gardens (1) match (1) maybe we can find some free Xian site to humiliate and annoy (1) medley (1) meet the new boss (1) memoirs (1) merry fucking christmas (1) miller installed two way mirrors (1) mind if we dance with your dates? (1) miscegenation monkey (1) mittwoch brain teaser (1) mmm - tube steak (1) mob job (1) monkey at large (1) monkey calendar (1) monkey punch (1) monogrammed shirts (1) montag (1) montressor (1) most womby - very womby indeed (1) motorcycle (1) mountain called monkey (1) move over SHAT - hier's the HOFF (1) movie references (1) moving (1) mr steven captured (1) much respect (1) multiple issues that contain various complications (1) negotiations (1) never a frown (1) never gonna get it (1) newsteam ASSEMBLE (1) ni (1) nice fuckin life (1) nick drake does not rock (1) no - Belew (1) no cookie for you (1) no doubt about it (1) no gorillas hier (1) no more (1) no- that's day-glo (1) nope - church shennanigans (1) nostraday (1) not Mr Steven Crane's fault for a change (1) not at all womby (1) not bouncy - toned (awesome) (1) not canon (1) not cynical (1) not dead yet (1) not disenfranchised (1) not disillusioned (1) not finished (1) not impossible (1) not lonewakko (1) not my fault (1) not super monkey this time (1) not that foolish again (1) not what you'd call an ordinary vacation (1) now it's your turn to try it (1) now its time for washington (1) now that's funny (1) number five (1) number five is alive (1) nyc (1) nymphs (1) o yeah (1) obsessed with the cube (1) oc (1) office of internal affairs (1) ok - PANIC (1) olds 442 (1) olympics suck (1) om mani padme om (1) omg omg omg (1) or do you spell it 'L'? (1) orca (1) other waynes (1) otto (1) over and over (1) pancho (1) partisanship (1) patriots (1) peacemaker (1) peaking (1) penguin (1) penguin and monkey are friends (1) penis mighter (1) pensive (1) people by the millions (1) pepsi (1) phone cops (1) phunny spelling (1) pick up the food now (1) pigskin bus to tuna town (1) piss christ (1) pizza hut (1) place joke here (1) plagiarism (1) plan coming together (1) platform shoes (1) platoon of monkeys (1) please please sedate me (1) poles (1) police brutality (1) polish hotties (1) poodles getting a workout (1) pork (1) potential instrument of chaos and mayhem (1) pre thanksgiving fun week (1) presented without comment (1) princess (1) principled nonvoter (1) problem solving (1) prostate specific antigen (1) protorap (1) public domain (1) pull the plug Larry - Bill paid your tab (1) puppies (1) purge (1) pusher (1) put me in coach (1) puzzler (1) raging inferno of relaxation (1) raise your foot (1) raise your knee (1) raise your other foot (1) raise your other knee (1) random acts of kindness (1) raw power (1) real life noir (1) real monkey tuesday (1) reconcile (1) redemption (1) rehabing the monchichi (1) release of big pent-up whatever (1) reminder: look for umlat o tag (1) right there - in the food court (1) risk (1) rochambeau (1) rrorro is a rrama (1) rubenesque beauties wait for your call (1) saf-t-taint (1) safety tanz (1) san diego yoga (1) sarah silverman (1) schmuck (1) schrodinger's monkey (1) scooters (1) sea monkeys (1) sedate him (1) sedate me already (1) self-love (1) self-portraits (1) sex dwarf (1) sheepdawg (1) sherlock holmes (1) sho nuff (1) short bus (1) sic (1) sick day (1) skeptics (1) slayer (1) slinky (1) slippery slope (1) smacky - pick up our slack (1) sometimes you lose (1) sometimes you win (1) sort of a companion piece to BP's (1) soul cancer (1) soup (1) special announcement (1) spit out the water (1) spitzer monkey (1) spring cleaning (1) spring fashion show (1) square day (1) srsly - a rant (1) still have a chance still have a chance (1) stooges (1) straightedge (1) strange (1) strapped to my back (1) sturm und drang (1) sub-atomic (1) suspense (1) sweaty pillow fight (1) sweetpea (1) syd (1) taintal torsion (1) take Jesus (1) take hope (1) tea party (1) that's great (1) the Answer (1) the Ben Bernank (1) the HOF (1) the broken heart of urkobold (1) the city (1) the doors are locked (1) the end (1) the feelies (1) the hermeneutics of bullshit (1) the hog with the big taint (1) the jam (1) the loo (1) the olympics (1) the plot man - what the fuck is the plot??? (1) the rolling stones (1) the two biggest cats walking this stinkin rotten planet (1) the urkobold intervenes on a slow day (1) these go to eleven (1) they charge you for just about anything (1) they need it WHEN?????? (1) they're all jerks - they're so mean (1) things that left a mark (1) this is not in jest (1) this one is totally fucking made up (1) throatwabbler mangrove (1) throbbing bicepts (1) tio (1) today is Tudsday - not yesterday (1) toldja there was somthin' wrong (1) too soon (1) took our jobs (1) tough gals on the asphalt (1) tough guys in the ring (1) tough guys on the asphalt (1) tough guys on the ballot (1) tough guys on the ike (1) tough guys on the museum (1) tough guys on the trivial pursuit board (1) trivial concerns (1) trolling for dummiez (1) trolling the aged (1) true love (1) trust in me (1) try it - you'll like it (1) try this at home (1) tuff gaiz (1) twist in sobriety (1) two girls - one pelosi (1) uncomfortable (1) unfinished (1) unknown (1) urkobold defeated (1) urkobold's ombudsman (1) useful tool (1) utter fucking bullshit (1) venom lords (1) vicious rumors (1) victoria day (1) violent seafood (1) viva il vino (1) wacky waving inflatible arm flailing tube man (1) wanting to insult that jackass (even though he's filtered and I'm not reading his posts) (1) watergate (1) waters (1) we salute you (1) we sure showed those nazi scum (1) weddings (1) weibskobold's favorite (1) werewolves (1) what day is it? it's fucking christmas (1) what next? (1) what the fuck is the moose talking about now? (1) what the hell is he talking about? (1) what's in the case? (1) when will this end? (1) where is Jean Bart when you need him? (1) which project is this again? (1) whining (1) whisper to a scream (birds fly) (1) white courtesy phone (1) who knew? (1) who the hell writes this crap? (1) whoretels (1) why i went to college (1) why is it called spring training (1) will call you later Mr Crane (1) work (1) working with that pineapple (1) worship (1) writer's block (1) yakko (1) yo-yo (1) yogurt (1) you bastards (1) you can do magic (1) you can do that on TV (1) you fucked with the monkey- didn't you (1) you trolling me? (1) zim zam (1)

Contributors

  • Pro Libertate
  • Urkobold
  • Jonathan Kyle
  • jimmydageek
  • sage
  • highnumber
  • Mr. Steven Crane
  • VikingMoose
  • dhex
  • smacky
  • BakedPenguin

Endorsements for Urkobold™

  • "Can't a non-retatrded right winger like John or Pro Liberatre try to debate me instead of a homophobe on one hand and a guy with the IQ of a bag of bricks on the other?" - The Truth
  • Of all the Hit & Run Lite clones that have popped up and then fizzled, this one doesn't suck as bad. Oh, it sucks. Just not as bad. Almost as good as Jennifer's! It's fascinating how you and Jen and Sloop run the same stories that Reason runs, albeit much more amateurishly, and still expect anyone to care. Touching, really, like the autistic kid who's good at building model airplanes. - Anonymous
  • "I am going to come and burn the fucking blog down. . .but you will blow me first." - Mel Gibson
  • "one of Technorati’s top tier bloggers" - Jack Monson from eNR Services
  • "Urkobold™ is a decent joke, when used sparingly on websites other than reason.com. Well, ok, even then it still sort of sucks." - John-David
  • "Too much energy winds up getting devoted to personal tangents, inside/running jokes and idiotic crap like "Urkobold" and what have you, rather than to actual political debate." - Tom
  • "...Such unquestionable trolls could well be described as the turds in the punchbowl if only turds deliberately decided to be turds and then dive into punchbowls." - D.A. Ridgely
  • "I never thought it possible, but URKOBOLD's comments about cleavage actually raised the tone of the debate." - Abdul
  • "As is so typical the Urkobold™ gets incisively to the heart of the matter while you other hacks thrash and flail in your own sea of unchained metaphors." - Matthew
  • "Urkobold [is] a widely-read libertarian culture site. . . ." - Eric Dondero
  • "I find URKOBOLD™ very funny. And I'm not just saying that because I fear further taint-withering." - Jake Boone
  • "For the first time, God has competition." - Pat Mooney (ETC Group) as interpreted by Anonymo the Anonymous
  • This is really a damned lovely f**king blog. I must visit more often. - Stevo Darkly
  • That would be great. They'd have to wear small logo patches on their suits, like tennis players. Press conferences would have the corporate logo on the podium. "The Hooked on Phonics Education Secretary would like to announce..." "This DEA briefing is being brought to you by Coors, the official beer of the DEA." - Baked Penguin
  • "And btw, "kooks love kooks" also explains the Urkobold website. Unfunny c**t boils" - Edwierdo
  • "I don't play games. Keep fucking with me and you and the rest of the Urkobolds will find that out." - Edward
  • "Fuck with bull, and you WILL get the horns. Fools." - Edweird
  • "I'll bet Ron Paul is opposed to cloning monkeys or at least to gays adopting cloned monkeys." - Edweird
  • "Merry Fucking Xmas, Douchebags" - Edweirdoo
  • "Keep pushing me, Urkobolds. If you want a war I'll give you one. Don't think for one second I'm joking either." - Edward
  • "...you ass monkeys" - Edweirdooo
  • "Hey Urkobolds, how about keeping your schtick confined to your own unfunny, racist [!?] website and keep it off of here. Thank you." - Edward
  • "Keep fucking with me, Urkobolds. I dare you." - Edward
  • "Keep playing with fire, boys. Keep playing with fire" - Edweirdo
  • "I hate all of you. I really do." - Edward
  • "And fuck you, Urkobolds. Keep fucking with me and I'll crash your pathetic little website." - Edward
  • "Wow, here come the oh-so-wacky "Urkobold" douchebags chiming in. Try being funny for once. I'm done with you fools." - Edward
  • "Fuck you and the rest of your wacky "Urkobold" cronies, PL. In fact, fuck this entire lunatic blog and everyone on it. I'm done with it." - Edward
  • Thankyou for you civility Urkobold [sic] - Gabe Harris
  • Be the troll that you want to see in the world. - Mohandas K. Gandhi
  • The Urkobold is like a brother to me. He may merely bow before Zod--the highest honor I can bestow. - General Zod
  • "Oddly enough, I haven't been in any cycling accidents since I 'found' URKOBOLD®. And I'm a daily commuter!" - jimmydageek
  • "I love this blog." - Smacky
  • "DEMAND KURV!!!" - Matt Damon

Bibertarian T-Shirt

Bibertarian T-Shirt
**NOW AVAILABLE (AGAIN) despite Communist conspiracy** Buy now and buy often. If not for yourself, for the children!

Profiles

  • Taktix®: - Details are still coming in, but it appears that he signed on recently merely for the opportunity to "really stick it to the Urkobold."
  • BakedPenguin - Said to be even tastier than barbecued puffin, he has been spotted plotting against the Urkobold, real name: Cornjob Crapulent Purpleknob, but you can call him "Corny"
  • Viking Moose - The Ruminator, the Angry Economist, his plot to destroy the Urkobold has just taken shape
  • Urkobold - The Troller of Trolls, the Über Troll, the Prime Troller Untrolled, the Lover of Weibskobold, the Reason We Are
  • Sage - Resident Straight Man (that term is understood to be relative), he is the progenitor of Haiku Day, a much respected man, he tries to stab the Urkobold in the back on any occasion
  • Pro Libertate - The Guzzler, Gator, God, Discoverer of the Urkobold, he is the unabashed geek-lover of Mrs. Libertate, Judas to our savior Urkobold
  • Koko, the Signing Gorilla - Fine Animal Person Gorilla
  • Jimmy Da Geek - The Art Director, he is the safe cycling expert, obsessed with taints, his attempts to poison the Urkobold have all failed
  • Mr Steven Crane - The Dark Horse, the bearer of Nehi Cola and Formula 409. sometimes known as the Fairy Defense Force, surely the most likely to betray the Urkobold
  • highnumber - The Founder, he is a handsome devil, loves accents of all sorts except Californian, is a proven replicant, and is an accused Betrayer of Monkey Tuesday, the last one the Urkobold suspects, therefore probably the one to fear most
  • Nick M. - The Continuity Director, he determines what Urkobold lore is canon and what apocryphal, he probably doesn't belong on the sidebar
  • smacky - Filling the gender gap at Urkobold™. Trails Koko, the Signing Gorilla in a recent attractiveness poll by only a small margin of votes
  • dhex - The Wild Card, Arbiter of Taste, AKA Acid Damage McGee, some suspect that he is also the Technoviking, not trusted by the Urkobold due to his shifting loyalties

New Product at Urkobold's Shop

New Product at Urkobold's Shop
Let everyone know that you're the proud parent of an up-and-coming minion of Urkobold. Brace yourself for the envious glares to follow!

Sobchak's Syndrome

Affliction affecting many libertarians: They're not wrong. They're just assholes. Possibly fatal to the movement.

NWS?

all but like two or three of these blogs totally suck

  • Voros McCracken
  • ab ovo usque ad mala
  • Antiwar.com
  • Center For Advanced Sarcasm
  • D.A. Ridgely
  • General Zod for President
  • THROATPUNCH
  • Heaps of Sand
  • Hit & Run
  • Islamolibertarianism
  • Libertarian Humanism
  • Marginal Revolution
  • NetRightNation
  • Oprah
  • Patent Blurbs
  • Penn Radio Archive
  • Penn Says
  • The Perpetual Three-Dot Column
  • The Plenum
  • The Wine Commonsewer
  • Unqualified Offerings
  • Virtual Toad

Inspected By Urkobold - Thong

Inspected By Urkobold - Thong
Profess your love to her with this classic thong from Urkobold. Let her know that Urkobold approves of her stuff, and Urkobold usually doesn't approve of anything!
- "Inspected by Urkobold" on front
- "Approved" on rear

Marge Simpson's Rule of Natural Law

"I didn't say you couldn't. I said you shouldn't."

Mr. Steven Crane's Nota Bene Salad

  • Alas, A Blog
  • Baseball Analysts
  • Bike Snob NYC
  • Bitch, PhD
  • Crooked Timber
  • Obsidian Wings
  • Orcinus
  • Pandagon
  • Punk-Ass Blog
  • Unfogged

Donations Sought

New, unused socks & underwear
Bicycles

What is Pro Libertate's middle name?

Disclaimer

A repudiation or denial of responsibility or connection.

Not-So-Recent Insults by the Urkobold

NICK M.,

IF ONLY FOOLISH STATEMENTS WERE TAXED! THEN YOUR STATE WOULD BUILD A GIANT STATUE OF YOU WITH ITS MASSIVE SURPLUS.

Urkobold™

Urkobold™
Urkobold™
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