Monday, December 10, 2007

Tour of URKOBOLD HQ Part One




Welcome to the tour of URKOBOLD HQ. Hier we are in beautiful Taintsville, the proverbial bridge, as it were, under which the Ur and über-trolls of the internets unleashes wry parody, wit, inside jokes, and general, irreverent fun.

I am EDWEIRDOOO, your tour guide and host today. Please think of me as an advanced, younger, hipper, and far, far prettier version of Babs.

The first question that we usually get is, "Is this really your last post?", to which I reply with a chuckle, "well, no. A parody never has a last post".

The second is, of course, "why Taintsville. Why hier?"

Several reasons. Florida is an interesting state. Besides having an entire network devoted to TROLLDRIVING, which is the Mercury Medicare Sled driving 45 in the left lane with a blinker on. It is also for other, assorted versions of "left lane fever", but since most people fall into that category, we'll stick to the MMSD group. Hay - remember, I'm a stand up guy. Unlike you Urkobold freaks.

Taintsville, located near Orlando is a perfect headquarters for the libertarian parody Urtroll of the internets. It is near a mountain biking trail, Little Big Econ State Forest. This pleases URKOBOLD for several reasons. One, of course is mountain biking can cause an endo, resulting in taintoplasty. That is immensely pleasing to the URKOBOLD. The other is "little big econ".

If you look at H&R and other, similar sites, people are obviously well-versed in URKOBOLD Ekonomiks 79 course (and nothing else), so little big econ is perfect for them.

If you travel a little north, you get to Mullet Lake Park. It is a rare state that has a lake park named to the official state hair style. This will become more clear when URKOBOLD launches personal care products next month.

Going a little south east, you find that it is indeed Christmas every day in the town of (Fort) Christmas.

Since URKOBOLD takes great pleasure in...

[calls on someone whose hand is up]

Yes. [sighs heavily] what is it?

[guest] Mr. Edweirrrddddoooo, where is the DUNDEROOOO momument?

What?

[guest] DUNDEROOOO. Where is it?

GET OUT YOU UNFUNNY FOOL.

I apologize, ladies and gentlemen for that interruption.

Now, if you take route 50 east out of Christmas, it turns into THE CHENEY HIGHWAY, which takes you to the coast. Naming this highway was the result of a great debate. Stalling the debate was that many wanted to call it BURR highway, as Burr was successful in his shared venture with Cheney.

Pulling up to the URKOBOLD office building where Mr. Steven Crane works in KORNFELDIAN ECONOMICS, we'll stop at the URKOBOLD gift shop before continuing with the tour.



(photo credit)

5 comments:

Pro Libertate said...

Ah, the long-awaited Taintsville post. People will think that sign was photoshopped, especially since Taintsville doesn't show up on a lot of on-line maps. But it exists, nevertheless.

Micky Dolenz said...

I told the writers that "Last Train to Taintsville" was cooler than "Last Train to Clarksville", but they never listened.

BakedPenguin said...

If you go off on Cheney highway, be sure to visit Bithlo's scenic car junkyards! Take home a rear view mirror from a '92 Ford Fiesta as a souvenir.

For fans of Cops, just north of Bithlo are the historic trailer parks of Chuluota! Stop by, and you just might see them tape part of an episode as drunken rednecks cause a scene!

highnumber said...

Stalling the debate was that many wanted to call it BURR highway, as Burr was successful in his shared venture with Cheney.

That, right there, is the best part.

dhex said...

wasting away in taintsaritaville...