URKOBOLD, über and ur Troll of über and ur Trolls is very pleased to have Jonathan Swift onboard as Minister of Nutritional Economics, Environmental Affairs, and Population.
"Swift has demonstrated forward-looking thinking that an Übertroll can support. His Modest Proposal is an inspiration. Not only will his proposal help hunger, the younglings will serve as excellent training specimens for teaching new trolls. Soul whithering, taint chomping, and other URKOBOLDIAN punishment techniques need constant training and practice."
Swift foresees a wide array of benefits from his proposal:
"it would greatly lessen the number of papists, with whom we are yearly overrun, being the principal breeders of the nation as well as our most dangerous enemies"
He also sees the commodization of children to lead to better treatment of children: "It would increase the care and tenderness of mothers toward their children, when they were sure of a settlement for life to the poor babes, provided in some sort by the public, to their annual profit instead of expense."
We have seen this work in other areas of agriculture and land management. For example, bison herds or rain forests, once assigned a price via the market mechanism, become precious, and their natural husbandry will take place.
Swift's proposal also qualifies him for an URKOBOLD Environment Award, to be awarded at the next ceremony. He is confident that his plan will be widely accepted, "I can think of no one objection, that will possibly be raised against this proposal."
His full proposal can be found hier.
4 comments:
This reminds me of the haggis posting for some reason.
Isn't thoreau a Papist?
Urkobold is so frickin' clever.
ProGLib: that was the inspiration.
Have included "haggis" in the tags.
High#: the URKOBOLD is indeed brilliant!
Hey, I'm trying to post something, but I'm getting errors when I try to upload an image. What hath God wrought?
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