Monday, May 14, 2007

Urkobold's Favorite Hat - The Pickelhaube

Ja, das ist und ausgezeichnet hut. Soon, Urkobold will sell it in assorted colors with His URL on it. You know, as a marketing gimmick.

27 comments:

Karen said...

Here are some people who could use those hats in decorator colors, especially the Barbarian Cellists. And the accordion player in the spangly gold jacket and the thigh-highs. My husband -- his name is Steve, for future reference -- thinks that Urkobold versus the Barbarian Cellists would make an excellent direct-to-video movie and marketing tool. Maybe as a triple feature box-set with Krull and Yor.

Pro Libertate said...

Any connection with the Saxon Violins?

Urkobold® said...

Karen,

Tell Steve to send the screenplay to Urkobold's agent. Urkobold will take a look, but must warn you that Urkobold has a history with Yor. There was some...unpleasantness.

VikingMoose said...

Assorted colors? Eine bunte Pickelhaube? NEEEIIIINNNNNN!!!!!!!

The URKOBOLD should market them with a slight twist. Instead of the airholes, we install a tiny little speaker, and the screams of pain of URKOBOLD's vanquished shall fill the air.

By changing the screams, we can get a level of mass-customization (thereby achieving some differentiation and market power). But ein buntes Pickelhäuberl? Na! Na! Bitte, na!

Pro Libertate said...

VM,

I don't see why you wouldn't want to wear a multi-hued Pickelhaube. The Germans do it. Of course you do it. We all do it. We love to do it. I just did it, and I'm ready to do it again.

VikingMoose said...

hump death hump death hump death hump death hump death hump death hump death hump death hump death hump death hump death

dhex said...

so...what was the deal with the little spike thing on top there? phallic power? a filing system more awesome and terrifying than anything you could comprehend?

Pro Libertate said...

dhex,

I suspect the latter, given German organizational skills and obsessions.

Spitze means spike? Huh. I think I'll let VM discuss the ramifications of that.

Pro Libertate said...

Hmmm. Note the ventilation holes, where steam emits when the German in question loses his temper. If they'd stuck with the Pickelhaube, the whole Nazi thing could've been avoided. Those new helmets lacked a steam valve, you see.

lunchstealer said...

That is a very fine hat.

Pro Libertate said...

It hast und nice Vorderschirmschiene, does it not?

I'll be surprised if VM isn't marketing a version for the Cubs before the end of the season.

VikingMoose said...

"before the end of the season."

if BTEOTS = elimination from playoffs, that could be very soon!

:)

And we could spear a little cardinal on the Spitze...

("Spitze" means "peak", "spire", "Apex", "spike", "pinnacle", "summit")

"Spike" as in railroad spike is "Schienennagel"

Pro Libertate said...

VM, what of the surname, Spitz?

As for the Cubs' Pickelhaube, I think you could use the spitze to impale (or, more appropriately, spit) the mascot of the team you happen to be playing. Cardinals? Sure. Of course, people walking around with a life-sized effigy of a Pirate impaled on their head would be most impressive.

Dave-o-ramA said...

Hmm, it couldn't help but be more attractive than the old 1970s/80s Pirates hats.

Go Bucs, but seriously, those were some ugly headgear.

-lunchstealer

VikingMoose said...

ProGLib and Lunch - right you two are.

Between the Astros unis and the Bucs caps, it was an ugly time...

(cue ESPN's "Don't Like Baseball? Move to Norway" series)

Pro Libertate said...

The whole secret to the Braves' record division-winning streak was reviving the old-style uniforms. And assembling the best pitching staff in history, I guess, was a minor factor as well.

Thank you, Cubbies, for Greg Maddox!

Pro Libertate said...

Of course, at least the Cubs were not "Fam-i-ly". Ugh. Except for movies and a small percentage of music, why did we have to have the 70s again?

juris imprudent said...

Between the Astros unis and the Bucs caps, it was an ugly time...

Ugliness was defined by the Padres.

Both in uniform and in play.

Pro Libertate said...

I miss the NL West and the old format. I still hate the Dodgers most of all. This stupid wild card system is almost as dumb as the DH.

The AL, of course, is beneath notice, except when I'm wearing my Rays' hat.

highnumber said...

I like the old Pirates cap.
Excellent wearing of it here.

Dave-o-ramA said...

Well, the AL did give us what is probably MLB's greatest tributes to the Urkobold, namely the Red Sox fans' tendency to break into a rousing chant of "Yank-ees-suck! yank-ees-suck!" even when they weren't playing New York.

-lunchstealer

Pro Libertate said...

The Yankees are a pestilence. Down here in Tampa, they have a disturbingly strong presence, what with Steinbrenner's shipping business being based here, their spring-training operation, the minor league team, and the increasing number of New Yorker expats in the area.

The worst part is that the poor Devil Rays are in the same division as the nasty old Yankees.

VikingMoose said...

Lunch takes the day!

Would rather... um... the Pistons winning six in a row than having to endure the Eastern Seaboard Programming Network's excessive spankin' (and not in the good, pure BATIN sense) over the Redsux.

Pro Libertate said...

Yes, ESPN has sucked ass since, oh, 1990? Whenever they actually started carrying important games rather than just talking about them.

Yes, children, Berman was funny when what he was mocking was other networks' coverage. Hard to believe, I know.

It is annoying how the media seems to think that the center of the sports universe is New York or places somewhere near there. Fuck them. The only reason the Yankees have won anything in the last thirty years is the league's effort to allow them to do so. Where's the salary cap? Yeah, I'm talking to you, too, Boston.

Dave-o-ramA said...

You mean the Everytime Syracuse Plays Network?

Pro Libertate said...

ESPN's continued existence represents a threat to the well-being of society. ESPN means slow death to the more valued members of the cable system. Therefore I have no alternative but to sentence you to death. Your cancellation is so ordered, signed Kodos, CEO of Time Warner.

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