Thursday, May 24, 2007

Urkobold Hungers

Haggis Recipe
courtesy Alton Brown (Urkobold's personal chef)

1 sheep stomach
1 sheep liver
1 sheep heart
1 sheep tongue
1/2 pound suet, minced
3 medium onions, minced
1/2 pound dry oats, toasted
1 teaspoon kosher salt
1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
1 teaspoon dried ground herbs


Rinse the stomach thoroughly and soak overnight in cold salted water.
Rinse the liver, heart, and tongue. In a large pot of boiling, salted water, cook these parts over medium heat for 2 hours. Remove and mince. Remove any gristle or skin and discard.
In a large bowl, combine the minced liver, heart, tongue, suet, onions, and toasted oats. Season with salt, pepper, and dried herbs. Moisten with some of the cooking water so the mixture binds. Remove the stomach from the cold salted water and fill 2/3 with the mixture. Sew or tie the stomach closed. Use a turning fork to pierce the stomach several times. This will prevent the haggis from bursting.
In a large pot of boiling water, gently place the filled stomach, being careful not to splash. Cook over high heat for 3 hours.
Serve with mashed potatoes, if you serve it at all.
Copyright © 2006 Television Food Network, G.P., All Rights Reserved

33 comments:

VikingMoose said...

mmm. very awesome!

how are you with blood sausage?

Pro Libertate said...

With the haggis or separate?

VikingMoose said...

anytime.

You do know that haggis is the perfect meal for the URKOBOLD, cuz URKOBOLD uses the organs of his victims!

highnumber said...

I feel like I should register some sort of protest against this post, but I don't know what's really appropriate.

Ya know, I've never actually tried haggis, so forget it. I'll save my outrage for something else.

Pro Libertate said...

Well, here's your chance. Go gut a sheep, follow the recipe, and voilà! Good eats!

Grotius said...

Urkobold isn't real.

Anonymous said...

Urkobold isn't real.

Slay the blasphemer!

Grotius said...

Urkobold is a fantasy dreamt up to keep you lesser beings in order while philosophers like myself ponder mysteries of nature.

Anonymous said...

*covers ears(or eyes as it were)*

Slay heem!

Urkobold® Minion said...

AND WHAT MYSTERIES OF NATURE WOULD THOSE BE, MR. GROTIUS? YOUR MOTHER'S PROMISCUITY?!

Grotius said...

minion of the faux entity known as urkobold,

Oh, you know, contemplating permanent questions like free will.

jimmydageek said...

Yes, is it destiny or free will that will drive me to give you an ass kicking?

Ponder on that in the meantime!!

VikingMoose said...

Urkobold is a fantasy dreamt up to keep you lesser beings in order while philosophers like myself ponder mysteries of nature.

LOL! Terrific!

Grotius said...

jimmydageek,

The true philosopher - like myself - is a master of the physical arts of combat. So good luck. You'll need it. ;)

Pro Libertate said...

Grotius,

We don't believe in you, either. You failed the Turing Test :)

Grotius said...

pro libertate,

We philosophers like to keep it that way. When one of our number (Socrates) was killed by the unruly, uneducated mob we recognized the need stay in the misty shadows. So yeah, we perfer that the mob do not believe in us; for the sake of our physical safety if nothing else. ;)

Pro Libertate said...

Grotius,

Okay, we'll tell everyone that you're fictional.

Locally, we're willing to give you a second chance, if you make the haggis and eat it. Really, the taste is greater than the sum of its parts.

Incidentally, as you may recall, we determined than Socrates was a trollosopher.

Grotius said...

pro libertate,

Socrates' problem was his willingness to talk to the peons and intellectual lightweights honestly. Plato recognized his error and that's why we philosophers don't talk about the truth with the peons anymore.

VikingMoose said...

And now back to Truth with Peons

[runs off]

Grotius said...

VM,

We keep the truth secret for the sake of the peons of course.

VikingMoose said...

Truthful Designers of Truthful Designs.

so, like, you filosofers, like, are like that Kung Fu man, man?

Pro Libertate said...

Grotius,

Urkobold, LLC may be offering a small grant to someone willing to research the hermeneutics of trolling.

Grotius said...

VM,

The falasifa don't generally wander about the countryside getting into adventures.

pro liberate,

Great, I just finished a work titled "The Ontological Necessity Of Trolling."

Pro Libertate said...

Grotius,

Have you read Frederick Forsyth? I recall you being a Ludlum fan and just wondered. I recently re-read The Day of the Jackal and am currently reading another one of his books, The Afghan (just noticed that I had it--it was a Christmas gift).

Grotius said...

pro libertate,

The only authors of that genre (if one can call it that) that I have much experience with are Ludlum and Graham Greene. Greene wrote the "spy novels" novels I enjoy the most, BTW. Yeah, yeah, I am explicitly confirming that I like the writings of an author whose main themes included religious elements.

Pro Libertate said...

I love Greene. My favorite is The Power and the Glory--not a spy novel--but I also like The Quiet American and several others that are. And, of course, The Third Man novella and movie are great, too.

Try The Day of the Jackal. It's like a spy novel (replacing "spy" with "assassin") and it deals with de Gaulle's France, which should make you happy :)

Grotius said...

pro libertate,

I always figured it would be cheesy. My favorite Greene novel is The Ministry Of Fear.

Pro Libertate said...

Not cheesy at all. It's very matter of fact--almost journalistic. I think you'd like it.

Pro Libertate said...

I haven't read that one, by the way. I'll have to check it out. I've read a bunch of his novels.

Grotius said...

pro libertate,

Looks like it is still in print. It was published during WWII.

Grotius said...

I'd imagine though that your local used bookstore would carry a copy or two.

Grotius said...

pro libertate,

Anyway, I might get around to reading that book but right now I am obsessed with reading everything I can by and about Leo Strauss. The one benefit that the Iraq war debate has provided me is the introduction to his body of work.

Stevo Darkly said...

I was just going to post, "I would totally eat haggis. But cooking it sounds very time consuming, and I don't think I could find most of the ingredients at my local supermarket." But then you guys got all intellectual, about books and stuff.

Probably the last spy novel I read, which was quite a while ago, was The Eagle Has Landed by Jack Higgins, about a plot to assassinate Churchill.