Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Monkey Tuesday: Dear Lord, No



DO NOT TEACH BONOBOS OR OTHER GREAT APES HOW TO MAKE AND USE FIRE.  Thank you very much.

Friday, March 28, 2014

RIP Dave Brockie, a.k.a. Oderus Urungus 1963-2014

On Sunday, humanity lost one of the greatest Ur-trolls of this eon, Oderus Urungus of GWAR (a.k.a. Dave Brockie). Few if any of Urkobold's minions could surpass the trolling abilities of Oderus. Urkobold himself took pause at the frontman of GWAR's ability to satirize and mock human politics and popular culture as well as his impressive and unending lust for gratuitous sex and cartoon violence. Mr. Brockie brought a hardcore punk sensibility to the heavy metal music of GWAR, enjoyed by a broad fan base of punks and metalheads alike. He had a style of humor that was simultaneously full of subtlety and completely lacking thereof. GWAR live concerts were a legendary sideshow of messy entertainment for the past 30 years. Oderus Urungus is survived by the Cuttlefish of Cthulu, his band mates, and his cowering slave pit, as well as countless other worthless human scum whom he hadn't gotten around to slaughtering. Farewell to the Jim Henson of Intergalactic Murder and Mayhem, Dave Brockie. Thank you for all the laughs. You will be missed.

Selected works of GWAR and Dave Brockie interviews (NSFW):

Grammy-nominated (!) feature-length film Phallus in Wonderland :

Friday, March 7, 2014

REMINDER: Spring Back for Daylight Savings Time!

Winter is ending and this weekend is when we say that "Spring is Back!" and set our clocks back an hour.

Thursday, January 9, 2014

Impending Lawsuit News: Florida Pizzeria Infringes on Urkobold's Patented Python Process

Be offended.  Be very offended.  A so-called "pizzeria" in a so-called town in Florida (Ft. Oscar Mayers?) has infringed upon the Urkobold's numerous patents, trademarks, trade secrets, and other intellectual and not so intellectual property by serving python on its "The Everglades" pizza:


How did this happen?  Who betrayed the Urkobold and his Mountie Python chain?  A horde of unfed lawyers is being further starved and subjected to deeply personal behavioral conditioning to mindlessly hunt down this traitor to all things decent and proprietary to the Urkobold. 

As just an editorial aside and not really part of this official statement, let me say that the pizza looks shitty.  Shitty!  And who buries haute cuisine like python in a mess like that?  What's next, truffles in your popcorn?

Thanks to BuzzFeed for revealing this evil to the world.

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Krass Kringle

 DARend

HOOKERS AND BLOW,
HOOKERS AND BLOW.
EV'RYONE WISHES FOR
HOOKERS AND BLOW.

HOW DO YOU MEASURE ITS WORTH?
JUST BY THE PLEASURE
IT GIVES HERE ON EARTH.